WE ALL NEED TO DO THIS 
Adoration
I do have one rule about this: Please don't talk about me to anyone. I know this is the internet where anyone can see it, but I really don't want anyone talking about what I might say on this particular journal to their parents or anyone else. Especially if you're in a strange situation where someone you know might know me or we all know eachother... you know who you are. I just don't want people telling me I need a therapist or some crap like that. I'm not crazy, this is just life. People have it way worst and they're just fine.
I also stand by the firm belief that you must (random metaphor) read the book before you write a book report. So... (random weird transition)
"Before you judge me, try hard to love me, look deep within your heart and ask: Have you seen my..."
Childhood(?)
I suppose everyone has to start somewhere. So I’ll start from the very beginning of my life. I was born on April 8, 1992. Nothing new there, I hope. I’ve said my birthday before and anyone that can do simple subtraction probably knew what year I was born in. I was born into a family that had been all over the continent basically. My Grandpa was in the air force, so the family had to travel from base to base with him. The only times they did was when he went overseas. He was originally from the place where we currently live, a horribly small and horribly boring little town on the eastern shore. His family is also so incredible huge that I’m related to everyone. I’m not even exaggerating that. I’m seriously related to most of the people in our town. That’s what happens when the normal family had over 10 kids.
So, our town is horrible, as I said. There was apparently a lot to do… before I was born, that is. I remember a wonderful place in town where kids of all ages would hang out and play. It was called FunSpace, and it was seriously way better than Chuck E. Cheese. We’re talking indoor Laser Tag with a balcony for spectators. Simply amazing, I’m telling you. We also had two arcades, one in the movie theater and one in the Bowling Alley. But, for whatever reason, these wonderful things no longer exist. I barely remember them, but I do remember how much fun I was having. I don’t think I’ve ever been that genuinely satisfied around here.
Anyway, there were no kids on my street. It was all my Grandfather’s sisters, who were around his age, so no one had kids my age. The closest person to my age was my younger cousin. We were, and still are, the only kids around. I also have older cousins, who were children of the 80s. They were too old by the time I came around, they had their own lives. It didn’t help me at all that they were all guys as well. All the boys played together, sports and such. I don’t do sports. Not ever. The only thing I benefited from growing up surrounded by men was my undying love for video games. I’ll get into all that later on.
I don’t remember playing with anyone at all. There were times, of course, where we’d all play something. But it wasn’t the same as, you know, having friends that shared many interests with you. I was raised by the TV basically. Anime was my life and still is, something I’ll get into later as well. I fell in love with many shows my cousin’s watched. Thundercats, for instance. I remember one of my older cousins, my younger one, and myself randomly shouting “Thundercats HOOOOO!” just because. I remember watching all kinds of shows that, to my dismay, no one’s ever heard of. Street Sharks, He-Man, Allegra’s Window, Groundling Marsh, Eureka’s Castle, The Puzzle Place, The Big Comfy Couch, Fraggle Rock, Gulla Gulla Island, Little Bear, Marsupilami… All these shows came on Disney and Nickelodeon just like everything else other people watched. A few of them came on PBS or WB, but many people watched those stations as well. I hate getting weird looks when I bring these up, I don’t understand how you watched the same channels as me but never saw these shows.
But, as I said, I don’t remember playing with anyone. I was alone most of the time. I played with dolls, when everyone else was playing sports or watching old Cowboy movies. I’m a girl, that’s what I was interested in. I think it’s time that I finally come out and say it… I was incredibly lonely. Of course, I had and have friends in school, but it’s not the same. I never really hung out with anyone (no one knows where my house is). There’s no real words to describe the feeling. I don’t understand why so many people wish they were an only child. I hear people with siblings talk about how they would love to get everything to themselves and have all the free time and space they’d ever want. It’s nothing like that at all. You have no idea…
I really don’t care if I seem weak by telling you all this next part. I used to be so lonely, I’d cry. I’d sit in my room alone, sometimes in the dark, and just attempt to cry it all away. But, I guess I grew out of that. I still have the habit of walking around, looking for someone to talk to. When I was younger, I’d walk around my yard and hope that someone that didn’t know who I was would just show up so I could talk to them. Now that I’m older, I still think this whenever I’m out walking my dog. I know, there’s a bunch more creepers out there these days, but I’m a stickler for geniality and that’s probably too innocent for reality. I’ve also just imagined meeting someone that’s… basically me but not. Someone that knows everything I’m talking about, and if they don’t, they’d want to learn about it. Someone that’s just as open minded as I am. Someone that appreciates the things I do and respects my reasons for doing them. Someone that gets my sense of humor…
Going back to the small town thing… I would always get so upset when I would go to school and someone had been gone for a few weeks or so. Why? Because when they came back, they’d talk about how amazing their trip to Britain or somewhere else overseas was. We used to have to go around in a circle after Summer Vacation and say what we did. I had to lie every time because I wanted to sound like I was interesting or whatever. I NEVER went anywhere. And still now, I NEVER go anywhere. We always get bitched at for sitting in the house, but when I want to go somewhere, I still get bitched at. It’s been a small dream of mine to see a late movie, for instance. Harry Potter always gets a midnight show, and This Is It (which is a more recent example) also played at midnight. No one wanted to got to either of those and I’m surprised I’ got to see them at all. I’m stuck with people who aren’t willing to have fun, to put it simply. This conversation, honest to God, goes on every year around Summer at my house:
“We’re going somewhere this year. I don’t care, I’m tired of sitting around the house all the time. I’m getting my car and we’re going somewhere.”
Me: “You say that every year, and I say this every time you say that. We still haven’t left the state in years.”
“We’re going somewhere.”
I’m right, sadly. We never go anywhere. And because of this, I’ve become obsessed with traveling. I swear to myself, when I get money, I’m going to every country at least once. I’m literally sick and tired of being in the same place where I know every freakin’ person. They say home is where the heart is, but I can’t miss it if I never leave, you know?
Content
I bet you want to know more about me. 
But I don't have many, so you all should be fine if you want to ask me. 
Irritated
